The Broke Yolk

Hello friends!

I’m sorry I’ve kept you salivating for another post for what appears to be….11 months.

You know what they say: well-behaved women rarely keep up with their depression-food blogs!

What have I missed! Everyone healthy, happy, thriving? Hahahaa a a a.

Nope, things have been shitty and it sorta extremely feels like the world is lowkey (highkey?) imploding and closing in on us from all sides and we don’t have much time left.

So in an effort to contribute some ~**positivity*~*~ during these bleak times (pandemic, living in lil bby fascist police state, fires, floods, etc.) I am committing myself back to this project. Also because I paid like $100 for this WordPress subscription or something (idk I have it on auto-renew like a Rich). I’m also running out of other distractions until I decide to Venmo Jeff Bezos $20 for the bedazzler in my Save For Later.

I won’t get into a recipe or publish an acrostic poem about my Microplane right now because…baby steps. I may have also forgotten how to write… But I will be back with all of that kind of content AND more in the very near (11 month) future (maybe).

To ease us back in understanding what goes through my AAA-battery operated brain, enjoy this short list of

Things I’ve Been Thinking About Lately in the Middle of the Night

• We are out of charcoal for grill (yes this is a I-have-a-charcoal-grill-and-sorta-know-how-to-operate-it flex)
• Is not having Air Pods a cute/relatable part of my personality or an annoying part of my personality?
• Google search: upper stomach pain (conclusion: emergency pancreas removal)
• Will my extended family start caring about COVID/our government’s lack of response if I die from it??
• I hope Dorinda is ok
• What if Maggie was short for Magnificent. Magnificent “Maggie” Rogers.
• I never sent a thank you note after my radio internship. If you’re reading this Jon (might not be your name), you were right. Adulthood really is coming home from work everyday, drinking a beer and staring at the TV.
• Foot wants air but boogeyman will nibble it

Ok that’s all I’ve got!

If you’re new here and just getting situated – here are some old posts to check out since this lil teaser will surely leave you begging for more.

• If you want to know where I come from, read this one: A FOOD TOUR OF FEASTERVILLE, PA: HOME OF “RUNAWAY MOM” BONNIE SWEETEN AND ALSO ME
• If you want to know which post has such an amazing title that food instagrammers borrow it for captions, read this one: THE DEVIL WEARS BURRATA
• If you want to learn a new language start here: GLOSSARY
• Or, take a look at my About page. Everything there holds up except the part about my bras – I’ve actually evolved past the need for them now and just let the girls do their own thing.

Talk soon!!!

-Tori